How do you feel when your partner’s attention is divided? How do you cope when you know that there is another woman in his life and you feel helpless?
Blaming the other woman keeps us from having to take responsibility for the problems in the marriage and our own feelings, so we like to pretend that if it hadn’t been for that other person there would have never been an affair.
The truth however is that there would have been, only that it just would have been a different “other” person.
How you handle the fact that there is another man or woman has a great deal to do with whether or not you end up in divorce court or, are able to save your marriage.
Here are a few suggestions that will help save your sanity and possibly your marriage.
1. Don’t Make The Other Woman More Important Than They Are
Your spouse was looking for an affair, not looking for that person in particular. They are not superior to you, they are simply very different from you. You are the wife or true partner, all they are is a distraction or an addiction. Your role in your spouse’s life far outweighs their role and you should know this.
The circumstances that led to the situation are more important than the person your spouse is involved with. Spend your time and energy focused on the problems in the marriage that led to an affair and finding a solution to those problems.
2. See The Affair For What It Really Is
The relationship with the other woman is an intoxicating fantasy relationship with no foundation but lies and dishonesty. They are showing your spouse only their best side, they are being all they can be to your partner and all they believe your spouse needs. No one can carry on that type of act for long.
When they start making demands of your spouse, clinging and attempting to control the course of the affair, the fantasy will wear off and your spouse will see them for who they really are…someone who has sex with another person’s wife.
An affair is not a rejection of you but a rejection of their role as husband/wife and the restrictions it brings. You should not take it personally because it is not about you as a person. Given time and patience, most affairs go down in flames.
3. Do Not Let Your Children Hate Their Father
Yes, no matter how bitter you are or how to hurt, you should never bring down your husband in the presence of your kids, particularly if they are still very little. Kids react to issues in different ways.
Asides from hating their father, they may go into depression and it may take a whole lot to bring them out of it. Try to sort it out without involving them and keep your strength up.
4. Let Your Partner Know That He Cannot Take You For Granted
We do not mean that you should have a shouting fit or begin to wrestle but there are ways to put him in his place. Make him know that because you have chosen to stay in the marriage despite his infidelity does not mean that you should be walked on.
Set some terms and conditions till things get better and make him know how unhappy you are with his actions.
5. Remember That This Is Between You And Your Partner
Now is absolutely not the time to begin spreading the news of your husband’s infidelity to both those who care to listen and otherwise. Maintain your respect. Do not tell everyone what is happening in your home. You never know who is experiencing worse but keeps it to herself and then advises you wrongly.
6. Don’t Internalize Your Feelings
When a person views the world through a self-critical perspective, the outcome turns out rather distorted. Don’t allow the actions of an unfaithful partner to cause you to feel ashamed or unworthy. Such feelings would eventually lead to depression, self-loathing and anxiety.
Whether your goal is to save your marriage or divorce your unfaithful spouse, you need to keep a clear head and develop strategies to deal with it.
In addition, they say that living well is the best revenge and, you certainly want to get revenge by healing instead of causing yourself more pain.
The post 6 Ways To Deal With The ‘Other Woman’ In Your Marriage appeared first on FabWoman | News, Style, Living Content For The Nigerian Woman.
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